Knocking on heavens door…. That is the beginning of the end of a live. Bob Dillons best song? We all know that Guns and roses had a huge impact with their version. But I prefer this one.
Dying or goodbye is the final stage there is not much left of the live you had. You are in the final stage, if you can you say goodbye and see that movie that is called ” the life of you “. Some go sudden, some suffer, some know, some are aware that it can happen. But we all reach in our lives a point of no return if we don’t change things.
Being mental dead is as dead as really knocking on that heavens door. Some of us ok many live in the mith of it. Not knowing when only knowing that it is a fact of no return. Now what? What to do besides looking back. That point ends im looking back also the point of saying sorry and saying how it was and how it never will be again.
Most of us, yes I know my end is coming one way or the other, seem to clear the rubbish and find commitmebnt to what you cannot stop but can pospone. In my heart and soul I know but all my breath say no not yet there is so much left to do. I can listen endless to these lyrics where everything is given away waiting for death to come.
God knows I am not scared of dying. My age is a problem to young so I pospone and fight my bug where I can. My disease is lethal but know one can say when. Not even I. I can feel at certain day’s that it slips slowly away like a good song fade aways.
Some day’s I will stand there knocking on that door saying ” howdie they told me it is my time ” knowing that last year I was so close. I could feel the calmness coming over me, my horrible pain was gone I was at a certain awarness. Peace or not I was not willing to let go.
In that mist of knowing there is no cure for me I decided to drop things in the air on purpose to draw all attention to me. It worked out the hard way but the word I wanted to say is said, under investigation and will make a change.
God is laughing at me and say’s “when you rock you reallt know how to shock”. Indeed a country is in shock of a certain men and his connections.
Mission accomplised source mounted but the word is out. That was my letting go…… Now people might want to know what’s next? Then I laugh and say sit down be dazzeled this is just the beginning of the end of an era that should have been stoppen years ago. People wanted me dead called me names and all I hear know is the sound of fear plain simple fear.
What is her next move? My next move is plain simple. Enjoy of the time left. It means letting go of certain things to forgive but that is ok. It’s over. I am going to say more often no due to the fact that life and I have an agreement. That door to heaven is near a few things need to be done good things. Travel, write, discover, love, enjoy and believe! That is my goal happiness dispite the pain and grief over the last couple of years.